One of the most important things we can do to support lifelong loving relationships is continue to learn about one another. When we start out in relationships we are fascinated. We stay up all night talking. We can’t wait to learn more about each other.
Over time we stop being curious. We start thinking we know everything about our partner. Which is impossible- every one of us grows every single day.
But when we stop being curious and start making assumptions about the people in our lives we start running into problems. We stop letting our spouse or sweetheart surprise us and things get a little blah. It’s not uncommon to end up in a conversation rut in a long term partnership.
Stop Fighting With Your Partner, and Start Fighting With Yourself".
What Most People Want Out Of Couples Therapy
The majority of couples who enter couples therapytypically want one thing: They want their spouse to be different. Many people in unsettling and dissatisfying relationships have come to believe that their discomfort or unhappiness is a result of their partner’s actions, and if only their partner would change, things would feel and be much better. The problem herein lies usually that both parties in the relationship want each other to change, and most typically neither of them are willing to change. And so, we have a classic standoff; you change first, then maybe I’ll consider changing. In other words, “I need YOU to be different, because I am fine”.
If you want to deepen the love and connection between you and your life partner—or if you’re seeking to make your next relationship a more fulfilling one—we invite you to join us in this information-filled series.
The Deepening Intimacy program is free—all 14 sessions. It launches on Monday, February 10th, 2014 at 6 pm ET. Registration is easy, sign up here.
With Deepening Intimacy, 17 acclaimed relationship and couples experts teach us their most valuable, must-know essentials for resolving the obstacles to healthy intimacy and creating a deeply fulfilling life partnership.
Saying "I do" is a bit different the second time around. You accept the proposal with more reservations (getting a divorce, however long ago it's been, will leave you a little shaky). The ceremony itself will generally be smaller, the weddi...
Couples can be happier now than ever before. But it’s rare.
The good news is that our marriages can flourish today like never before. They just can’t do it on their own.
Dr. Amy Fuller's insight:
Interesting article about the history of marriage and current relationship trends backed by research. The state of marital satisfaction is like wealth in America...the gap is getting bigger. It IS possible to have a great marriage, but it will take time, dedication and effort.
Traditional matrimony—he brings home the bacon, she cooks it—is dying. But college-educated couples are pointing toward a new model with children at the heart of the union.
American marriage is not dying. But it is undergoing a metamorphosis, prompted by a transformation in the economic and social status of women and the virtual disappearance of low-skilled male jobs. The old form of marriage, based on outdated social rules and gender roles, is fading. A new version is emerging—egalitarian, committed, and focused on children.
This fascinating article explains the transformation of marriage for the most highly educated into what he calls a HIP marriage (Highly-Invested-Parents) and suggests their focus on children could, if practiced among the least educated, save marriage in America.
Marriage is good for your health, according to a recent study by the Duke University Medical Center. Research drawn from more than 4,800 participants born during the 1940s found that those who had never married were twice as likely to die in midlife as people who had a long-term partner.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Your wife doesn’t think she’s beautiful. How can she? The world is busy pointing out all of her flaws. Particularly at the beginning of the year, I have ...
Dr. Amy Fuller's insight:
Unfortunately, the reality is most women do not feel beautiful. The author of this sad but true blog advises husband to compliment their wives on appearance frequently.
While this is a great practice it's only one side of the coin. It's also important for women to learn to see themselves as beautiful whether their spouse builds them up or not. Any type of compare leads to despair...
This well written ebook contains 10 gems about marriage. I particularly appreciate how she dispells commonly accepted myths such as: Happiness is the goal of marriage, I married the wrong person, and love is a feeling. Although the author, Lori Lowe, does not provide a discusson of her research methods, she does claim to base her "gems" on research.